Marry the wrong girl.
Bishwa, our wonderful guide, told us some of his story. As mentioned in my earlier post, his father had been a successful business man in Calcutta. He had sold his many businesses and moved to Pondicherry soon after the birth of his son, so that his son (Bishwa) and subsequent children could attend the ashram school. (He had encountered the school on a trip in his youth, and was determined to return once he had children.)
All was well. Bishwa, as the eldest son, had a number of obligations, such as lighting the father's funeral pyre, performing yearly rituals for the well-being of the father in the next life, and responsibility to protect and provide. As such, his father's wealth is passed to him at a relatively early age.
However Bishwa chose to marry a woman who was (a) older than him, (b) from the south (Bishwa and his family are from the north), but worst of all, (c) from a different caste. Bishwa's family is from the merchant class (Banik means "businessman"), but Bishwa's wife is Brahmin caste. Never mind that he married up, he married out. He was immediately disinherited and disavowed by his father (and therefore by his mother too).
His younger brother learned from his father's mistake. In his father's eyes, he was now the eldest son. The son bided his time until he inherited his father's wealth, and then married his Christian girlfriend. Naturally, he too was promptly disavowed.
This left Bishwa's father with no sons, no wealth, but plenty of debts. He had to sell their magnificent house (built by and for the last-but-one Governor), and eventually had to go back to work, humiliatingly as a cashier at one of his former businesses.
Although Bishwa tried to make contact with his father, send him money and otherwise reconcile, his father's heart was set. Even as he lay dying in hospital he had someone stationed at the door to prevent his son from visiting him. Even on his last day, as Bishwa again tried to visit, so that they may be reconciled and Bishwa could perform the funeral rites, his wife (Bishwa's mother) prevented Bishwa from entering, and Bishwa heard his father declaring that he would rather go to Hell than see his son.
It's not unique to India. My paternal grandfather's mother's name was struck from the family Bible when she, a Protestant, married a widowed Catholic (near Hill End, NSW). However, her mother retained contact with her daughter, and eventually, shortly before he died, her father reconciled also.
Bishwa, our wonderful guide, told us some of his story. As mentioned in my earlier post, his father had been a successful business man in Calcutta. He had sold his many businesses and moved to Pondicherry soon after the birth of his son, so that his son (Bishwa) and subsequent children could attend the ashram school. (He had encountered the school on a trip in his youth, and was determined to return once he had children.)
All was well. Bishwa, as the eldest son, had a number of obligations, such as lighting the father's funeral pyre, performing yearly rituals for the well-being of the father in the next life, and responsibility to protect and provide. As such, his father's wealth is passed to him at a relatively early age.
However Bishwa chose to marry a woman who was (a) older than him, (b) from the south (Bishwa and his family are from the north), but worst of all, (c) from a different caste. Bishwa's family is from the merchant class (Banik means "businessman"), but Bishwa's wife is Brahmin caste. Never mind that he married up, he married out. He was immediately disinherited and disavowed by his father (and therefore by his mother too).
His younger brother learned from his father's mistake. In his father's eyes, he was now the eldest son. The son bided his time until he inherited his father's wealth, and then married his Christian girlfriend. Naturally, he too was promptly disavowed.
This left Bishwa's father with no sons, no wealth, but plenty of debts. He had to sell their magnificent house (built by and for the last-but-one Governor), and eventually had to go back to work, humiliatingly as a cashier at one of his former businesses.
Although Bishwa tried to make contact with his father, send him money and otherwise reconcile, his father's heart was set. Even as he lay dying in hospital he had someone stationed at the door to prevent his son from visiting him. Even on his last day, as Bishwa again tried to visit, so that they may be reconciled and Bishwa could perform the funeral rites, his wife (Bishwa's mother) prevented Bishwa from entering, and Bishwa heard his father declaring that he would rather go to Hell than see his son.
It's not unique to India. My paternal grandfather's mother's name was struck from the family Bible when she, a Protestant, married a widowed Catholic (near Hill End, NSW). However, her mother retained contact with her daughter, and eventually, shortly before he died, her father reconciled also.
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